Multiple parents on father's and mother's day

Having multiple parents on any holiday can be especially challenging for any child. Even those who have grown up in a multi-parent situation continue to struggle with the logistic and emotional issues associated with having more than one mom or dad. Mother's day and father's day are especially challenging as these two holidays are specifically dedicated to parents. So what do you do? Well, every situation has different dynamics and so there is no one answer that we all can dictate our actions from. However, relationship and family experts have provided some guidelines that can help to give you some direction as you decide how to best honor the parents in your life.

One of the best things that you can do to best deal with the issue of having multiple parents on mother's and father's day is to be fair. One thing that must be clarified right off the bat is that fair does not always mean equal. Determining how to fairly allocate your time can be determined by a number of factors, many of which are geographical. In today's world mobility is much more convenient than it once was. For many families who live relatively close to each other, getting in the car and visiting each parent on their special day presents little conflict. Of course there are situations where both parents are not in the same geographical area. In these cases, parents and children may have to search for more creative ways to make sure that parents get fair visitation on their special days. In the most amicable of situations, both parents can come together to share their special day with the child or children. Having both mothers or both fathers together and with the child on mother's or father's day, not only minimizes scheduling conflicts, but it also provides a unified front for the child which is undeniably beneficial.
When time or travel does not make it possible for a child to physically visit each parent, alternate solutions include alternating years for mother's or father's day (much like many married couples deal with holiday situations in a situation where there are two sets of parents). If one parent must be chosen over another for special attention, experts generally suggest that the child discuss plans with the biological parents first. It is understood that there are some situations where the biological nature of the relationship is not as important as the emotional connection between parent and child, and in cases like these it is best to put the emotions of the child first. Be gracious and think of what will make the child happiest in what could be an uncomfortable situation. It is recommended that children be spared from the emotional baggage that may be associated with situations where there are multiple parents. As the child grows and matures, they will be better able to have a part in the decision making process.
While there are some awkward and uncomfortable feelings that may be associated with having multiple parents on mother's or father's day, it is beneficial to see the positive in the situation. It can be a great blessing to have multiple parents. While logistically scheduling holidays may be stressful, the bottom line is that the child is able to benefit from that many more caring and loving parents who only wish the best for them. Looking at the situation from this angle may make choosing how to spend your mother's and father's day a little less stressful and the overall experience a bit more enjoyable for everyone who is involved.