Multiple parents on father's and mother's day

Having multiple parents on any holiday can be especially challenging for any child. Even those who have grown up in a multi-parent situation continue to struggle with the logistic and emotional issues associated with having more than one mom or dad. Mother's day and father's day are especially challenging as these two holidays are specifically dedicated to parents. So what do you do? Well, every situation has different dynamics and so there is no one answer that we all can dictate our actions from. However, relationship and family experts have provided some guidelines that can help to give you some direction as you decide how to best honor the parents in your life.

One of the best things that you can do to best deal with the issue of having multiple parents on mother's and father's day is to be fair. One thing that must be clarified right off the bat is that fair does not always mean equal. Determining how to fairly allocate your time can be determined by a number of factors, many of which are geographical. In today's world mobility is much more convenient than it once was. For many families who live relatively close to each other, getting in the car and visiting each parent on their special day presents little conflict. Of course there are situations where both parents are not in the same geographical area. In these cases, parents and children may have to search for more creative ways to make sure that parents get fair visitation on their special days. In the most amicable of situations, both parents can come together to share their special day with the child or children. Having both mothers or both fathers together and with the child on mother's or father's day, not only minimizes scheduling conflicts, but it also provides a unified front for the child which is undeniably beneficial.
When time or travel does not make it possible for a child to physically visit each parent, alternate solutions include alternating years for mother's or father's day (much like many married couples deal with holiday situations in a situation where there are two sets of parents). If one parent must be chosen over another for special attention, experts generally suggest that the child discuss plans with the biological parents first. It is understood that there are some situations where the biological nature of the relationship is not as important as the emotional connection between parent and child, and in cases like these it is best to put the emotions of the child first. Be gracious and think of what will make the child happiest in what could be an uncomfortable situation. It is recommended that children be spared from the emotional baggage that may be associated with situations where there are multiple parents. As the child grows and matures, they will be better able to have a part in the decision making process.
While there are some awkward and uncomfortable feelings that may be associated with having multiple parents on mother's or father's day, it is beneficial to see the positive in the situation. It can be a great blessing to have multiple parents. While logistically scheduling holidays may be stressful, the bottom line is that the child is able to benefit from that many more caring and loving parents who only wish the best for them. Looking at the situation from this angle may make choosing how to spend your mother's and father's day a little less stressful and the overall experience a bit more enjoyable for everyone who is involved.

A few words from the bride!

What? Surely you mean from the Groom? Traditionally the role of the bride was to arrive, look stunning and allow her man to make the wedding speech. However, the modern bride is not going to sit back without taking an active part in every aspect of her wedding – and that includes saying something at her own wedding.

While the groom traditionally thanks everyone for coming – especially those who have travelled a great distance – the bride can add her personal thanks.

Some people to thank!

Firstly, you want to spend some time thanking your parents. Even if you are the kind of girl who left home when you were eighteen and have never really lived at home again, your parents are the ones who had the greatest effect on making you the woman you are today. Once again stories are a good thing and will probably stop you from being too overcome with emotion. Touch on one or two examples from your childhood or adolescence, especially if they are amusing or light-hearted. Thank them for giving you this special wedding day which you will always remember.
Your bridesmaids deserve a special word of thanks. They have had to be there for you through months of emotional highs and lows as well as through intense decision-making nightmares – and you are still friends! A word in the same vein could also be said here to the groomsmen and the best man for their support of the groom.
Then, you will thank your future in-laws, for producing and supporting this special man; for instilling in him the kind of values and beliefs that make him the one you want to be with for ever.
Lastly, your thanks are to your groom. After all, it is his love for you and his wanting to make a life with you that has made this day possible. A word of caution here: if you cannot handle really intense emotional moments, it is probably best to keep this part of the speech reasonably light-hearted. Talk about how you met. If there is a humorous story about some aspect of your courtship, that makes great speech material. You could also say something about how he proposed. If you are not writing your own vows, you could spend a moment here expressing something like your promise to him as his bride.
What about the practicality of saying a speech? Not everyone is an accomplished public speaker and you may feel that you have taken on a task that is too large.
The most important thing is that you write down what comes from your heart. Then, when you speak, it will flow easily. Whatever you do, don’t learn the speech off by heart. But, do practise. You may make cue cards for yourself that you can hold discretely in your hand or on the table in front of you. Breathe deeply, smile at everyone (remember this is your day and they want you to succeed) and then begin.